Another day.

Hi.

Today was hot. I woke up again with no power. It wasn't too hot in the morning though, so this was ok. It had poured with rain for most of the night which, while making it oppressively hot and sticky during the night, had eventually cooled everything down.

As my phone and computer were flat from there being no power since the day before, I headed out to visit my new friend at the internet cafe. It was on my way there that the eeriest of coincidences occured. I was stopped by a guy who 'knew' me. He commended me for stopping and talking to him and not being rude. He told me that he had just gotten married yesterday and I should meet his wife before he goes on his honeymoon tomorrow.

Hmmm.

Interestingly, he said he got married in the same mosque that Wally did – the very place I went to yesterday and saw no sign of any marriage. It was pretty quiet really. Anyhow, in the spirit of idiocy, I decided to go along with it for a while – I decided to go and see his place. On the way there I told him that I knew it would be 'customary' for me to give something to his wife but that I didn't have any money. I wanted to see what would happen. This plan backfired like all hell – he discerned that I needed to go to the bank to get more money, so rapidly changed course. All of a sudden his wife, who we were going to see, was miles away – right near the bank!

The coincidences just kept stacking up.

Anyhow, I told this guy that the reason I was going out was to go to the internet cafe and I had to talk to Penelope there and she was waiting and I didn't have time to go to the bank now and maybe another day perhaps but hopefully not. He said ok, his wife was getting her hair done just on the way to the internet cafe and I should stop and see her on the way.

I am an idiot and I hate myself sufficiently.

Turned out 'on the way' was about a kilometre past the internet cafe, right near the bank. I met his 'wife' and stole some groundnuts from her – I had to get something out of the shanking I was receiving. At this stage, I knew I was too far gone – I figured I would be better off just giving him money and pissing him off. This guy had already arranged with someone in a shop to give him some milk powder (which I was going to pay for) on the condition that I was going to the bank to get the money. I then told him I didn't have any money in the bank either – I had to go to the internet to get money in my bank. Aha! Great plan.

So he followed me to the internet. Shit plan.

The internet cafe I go to (it has wireless and I have paid for access whenever I want) was still not working. I made out that I was just going to wait hoping that this guy would go away, but he had already taken the milk so was in for the long haul. Additionally, we bumped into my close personal friend Wally (whom I met yesterday and got married the day before and had left for his honeymooon... today?). He didn't so much as blink at the apparent inconsistencies in his life but just came up and was my friend. He told me later he saw me with this other guy and knew he was no good so he wanted to look after me. Anyhow, we went to another internet cafe. Once there I pretended to do internet banking on dodgy African computers. Like I'm actually going to put my password into a computer sending out Nigerian scam emails. I mean, I'm obviously pretty naive and out of my depth, but sometimes I know.

So, after my several efforts, I was thoroughly beaten by desperate African scammers. We went back to the bank (it's not a small walk, probably about 1km each way) my new friend Lamin (the name for every first born), Wally and I. I drew out just enough money to pay for this guy's thing – I didn't want any extra on me to be 'needed' and a bit to give to Wally to piss him off as well. After trying to talk me into taking a taxi (I told him he could go and I wouldn't be offended. Please.) he followed me back, scamming all the way. We bumped into some guy he knew (I think he was some guy in the fire brigade) who needed two 50 dalasis notes as change for a 100 Dalasis ($4) note. I opened my wallet in an empty display of generosity, thinking I didn't have any money, to find two 50s staring back at me. It's wonderful being rich. So, I gave him the 'change' but didn't receive the 100 in return. Instead I had to go to his shop with my best friend Wally and get it from the manager who wasn't there and maybe I'll get it later.

Good day so far.

Anyhow, $4 is worth having something to hang over these guys – I can now tell him that he owes me 100 dalasis if he ever asks for anything. It's worth it.

Wally also seemed to have sort of organised for me to play at a club with the guys I met yesterday – apparently they liked my white jive and wanted me to play with them. I have to do that about 9pm tonight. I'll give it a bit of time but am expecting to find it to be shit and leave early. In my naivete and against my experience I am still holding out hope that it may be worth doing but we'll see. Maybe tomorrow I will be famous. Or mugged. I am not taking my phone or any money with me. I think this is the best way to avoid having anything taken or given from me. Yay Africa.

So, after all this farting around, I went back to my favourite cafe with a sign saying 'internet'. It still wasn't working. The girl there is lovely though and keeps putting on Youssou N'Dour DVDs for me. She offered to refund the money I had paid for wireless access which was refreshing too. I got a drink from the bar next door and sat with her for a bit waiting for the technician who was coming in '20 minutes'. Since yesterday. I then went to the bank again, with no friends in tow, to take out as much money as I could – I was actually broke. I managed to get a couple of hundred dollars' worth before the ATM ran dry. I'll have to make a bigger trip into Serekunda next time I need money.

On my way to the bank I ran into a guy named Omar who lives at the place at which I'm staying. He is actually ok – he has helped me with a few things, hasn't ripped me off yet and hasn't asked for anything. Allah bless him. I've been bumping into him a bit and telling him I'll come and see him at his friend's music shop – he knows I am here for music and had been sizzling this place for a couple of days. I went to the shop and it is actually really good. A lot of 20- and 30- year-old vinyl – African music, old jazz and soul, old reggae. The guy says he charges 500 dalasis for a record (about $20) but might work out a deal if I buy a few. He actually seemed pretty straight up, but was used to dealing with tourists/rich white people. I will go there some day and listen to a bunch of stuff. I'm not sure that I'm rich enough to buy much. We'll see.

Then, I went back to the internet cafe and found it was still just a cafe. I told the girl (whose name I cannot remember – I think it's Patu or something) that I was going and asked her to call me if the internet came back on.

Then I went home. And ate this:

Which was awful but made me slightly happier. I did have to open it by stabbing it with a knife and breaking my multitool and digging in with a spoon. I didn't cry though.

Much.

Also, as promised yesterday, I bought some toilet paper of which I took some photos:

I decided to go with 'Clean' first, maybe work my way up to 'Trendy' as I make some more friends and save 'Kissy' for when I am lonely and realise that my friends are all scammers.

If you play your cards right, I might be able to work out a way to bring some of this back home for some lucky, lucky people. Maybe some creamed rice as well.

Ok. That's it for today.

Thanks bye.